Stay at Home Dads

There is a social stigma about stay-at-home dads that is a form of sexism.  In our society, men are supposed to go out and work while the women stay at home with the kids.  This is the second most common reason for divorce after money problems.

Men were always the ones to go out and hunt to bring home food.  Those that stay at home now are looked down upon as lazy or "henpecked" (the most recent term being "pussy-whipped").  Even if I work at home as a fiction/freelance writer, I still have to deal with the people who call me "house-husband."  It doesn't matter that I love my son, or that I teach him every day, or that I have no problems cleaning the house -- I mean, I live here, too.  But it doesn't stop our patriarchal society from discriminating against me, even if it is just socially.

The "traditional roles" that are assigned to us, mainly due to the history of our race, have been fought against by women in the equal rights movement.  Women want equal pay for equal work.  Good.  That is only fair.  But on the flip side, men should be able to take care of their children without being looked down upon.  That, too, is only fair.  Men are traditionally stronger, women are traditionally smarter.  Men are more protective, women are more nurturing.

Yet why can't men be both?  Men can also be nurturing, women can also be protective.  There are women that are stronger physically than men.  Women are usually more emotionally stronger, I believe because of having to raise a child. So why can't men gain some of that same strength by raising a child?

There are single dads out there that do it.  Not all dads are deadbeats with their ex-wives/girlfriends.  It's one of those few bad examples getting the most attention.  Do the dads that do it get praised? Nope, they get a "you're doing what you're supposed to anyway, so why should I think you're doing something exceptional."  But when a single mom has issues, oh my god, alert the media, she's got problems, the world needs to stop and focus all its resources in her direction. Dads are lucky to get a pat on the back for a job well done.

I am lucky to have a loving, caring wife who is working and giving me the opportunity to teach our son, work with him and be a stay at home dad who gets to write (my favorite hobby I hope to turn into a career), but it's tough right now and money's tight.  So my non-traditional role might be changing again soon to the more traditional one so that we can survive.