Tiresome Organizations

Bothersome people are everywhere.  Non-profit organizations collect them, as well.  Leaving an organization with a lot of tiresome, bothersome people, especially one of which you've been a member for awhile, will relieve that feeling of irksomeness in you.

My wife and I recently left an organization that has a lot of tiresome people -- tiresome to us, not necessarily to each other or other people in the organization.  One of the main reasons we found them so bothersome was that there is a prevalent attitude in this local group of intelligence -- which a lot of them are -- but their intelligence, knowledge and experience apply only to skills that apply to that particular organization and not really anywhere else in society.

I understand the want and need to grow and learn new things, but if there is no practical application other than the that organization, I'm not going to concentrate on it or worry about learning too much about it.

I had been working a lot on artistic applications with this organization, things that I could do in my own time without a lot of effort or cost to me or my family.  I could draw and practice calligraphy as it is pure art.  Fake sword fighting might provide some physical workout, but not enough reward for the effort put into it.  I think that shows with the physique of some of the long-time sword fighters in the organization.

I may continue to work on the calligraphy and illumination because I do enjoy it, had enjoyed it even before becoming a member of the organization.  It was something that I was able to do to contribute to the organization, but it wasn't celebrated, it was looked upon as a necessity rather than a contribution.  I had the ability and so it was required of me to do it.  For them.  Not for any reason I might have for wanting to do it, but because I could, I should be doing it for them.

No thanks, I'll take my talent elsewhere where it will be more appreciated.

Cubs vs. Cardinals

Growing up in central Illinois I was caught right in the middle of one of the biggest rivalries in baseball. I'm talking of the Chicago Cubs and the St. Louis Cardinals.

And seeing the fans -- I'd say over 90% of the residents are fans of either of these two teams -- you can tell a lot about the personalities of the fans depending on which of the two teams they root for.

Cubs fans, due mainly to the fact the team hasn't won a World Series in over a century, going almost as long for an appearance in the championships, are hopeful, optomistic people.  The World Series doesn't matter to Cubs fans. They have greater love of the game rather than the outcome.  To Cubs fans it's not about winning or losing, they'll remain loyal even though the Cubs don't regularly make it to the playoffs.

Cardinals fans, on the other hand, are assholes.  That's not right, well, not all the time, just in the way they are during baseball games or around known Cubs fans.  I have never seen a Cubs fan tell a 2-year old child in a Cardinals shirt, "Oh, I'm so sorry that your parents make you wear that shirt." And whenever the Cardinals beat the Cubs, Cards fans have to make sure that EVERYONE knows it, yet if the Cubs win, Cards fans have an attitude of "Oh, so what?  When's the last time you were in the World Series?"

I don't know if Cardinals fans are like this outside of central Illinois, and not all Cardinals fans are like this.  But a lot of them are.  Why?  There was no rivalry like this between the Bears and Rams, or the Cardinals NFL team before they moved to Arizona.  Granted, the Bears' NFL rivalry is with the Green Bay Packers, but it's not as bad as the one between the Cardinals and Cubs.  Is it because it's been so long since the Cubs' World Series appearance?  If so, why does that matter?  Is it elitism on the Cards fans' part?  Is it only because they are both so close to Peoria (where I live)?  Is it maybe a fair weather thing -- i.e. the Cards fans are worse when they are really going strong, but there's still that animosity when they aren't doing so hot?

I've heard some Cardinal fans (I'm friends with a few) who say it's just friendly ribbing.  It doesn't seem that way all the time.  Partly because it's being done all the time.  Even during the off-season, someone will see me in a Cubs hat and decide they have to say something about it.  Why?  I don't bug you about your choice of headwear, or your lack of taste in music because you're singing Lady Gaga.  Yet you feel the need to berate me for my choice of baseball team I root for.  I'm above that.  And that's why I like being a Cubs fan.

Stay at Home Dads

There is a social stigma about stay-at-home dads that is a form of sexism.  In our society, men are supposed to go out and work while the women stay at home with the kids.  This is the second most common reason for divorce after money problems.

Men were always the ones to go out and hunt to bring home food.  Those that stay at home now are looked down upon as lazy or "henpecked" (the most recent term being "pussy-whipped").  Even if I work at home as a fiction/freelance writer, I still have to deal with the people who call me "house-husband."  It doesn't matter that I love my son, or that I teach him every day, or that I have no problems cleaning the house -- I mean, I live here, too.  But it doesn't stop our patriarchal society from discriminating against me, even if it is just socially.

The "traditional roles" that are assigned to us, mainly due to the history of our race, have been fought against by women in the equal rights movement.  Women want equal pay for equal work.  Good.  That is only fair.  But on the flip side, men should be able to take care of their children without being looked down upon.  That, too, is only fair.  Men are traditionally stronger, women are traditionally smarter.  Men are more protective, women are more nurturing.

Yet why can't men be both?  Men can also be nurturing, women can also be protective.  There are women that are stronger physically than men.  Women are usually more emotionally stronger, I believe because of having to raise a child. So why can't men gain some of that same strength by raising a child?

There are single dads out there that do it.  Not all dads are deadbeats with their ex-wives/girlfriends.  It's one of those few bad examples getting the most attention.  Do the dads that do it get praised? Nope, they get a "you're doing what you're supposed to anyway, so why should I think you're doing something exceptional."  But when a single mom has issues, oh my god, alert the media, she's got problems, the world needs to stop and focus all its resources in her direction. Dads are lucky to get a pat on the back for a job well done.

I am lucky to have a loving, caring wife who is working and giving me the opportunity to teach our son, work with him and be a stay at home dad who gets to write (my favorite hobby I hope to turn into a career), but it's tough right now and money's tight.  So my non-traditional role might be changing again soon to the more traditional one so that we can survive.